


Control

by tonia_barone



Series: KillerAlchemy [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 08:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10330223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonia_barone/pseuds/tonia_barone
Summary: Caitlin muses on her burgeoning powers





	

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic in this fandom. I was listening to Skillet's "Monster" and this just flowed from there. This is unbeta'd, and I apologize for any errors.
> 
> Takes place sometime after 3x12 but before 3x15

It was always hardest to resist when it was quiet.  When nobody needed tending to, just mindless testing that needed done; when Cisco was tinkering in his workroom, humming to himself; when Barry was off with Iris, or actually at his day job with Joe and Julian.  In the quiet it was so difficult to fight the poisonous thoughts that slipped through her mind.  Despite how the others had taken it, Killer Frost wasn't a separate personality; Caitlin wasn't like Magenta.  That was what frightened her so much; that she was just as capable of murder, or worse, as her Earth-2 counterpart.  

Caitlin was still discovering her triggers, but she'd come to realize it wasn't just her friends being hurt that brought that side of her out.  Any small annoyance recently brought out the itch to reach for the cold, the ice.  Even with Cisco's necklace, the itch was there.  It helped her to keep a lid on her powers, helped her to resist, but Caitlin worried that with the threat of Savitar rising, the necklace soon wouldn't be enough.  Caitlin tried meditation to help keep control.  There were some interesting studies done that showed how it could help with a number of things, from stress relief to accelerating healing.  Meditation  _did_ help.  More than Caitlin expected, to be honest.  It wasn't enough, not on its own.  Various medications that she'd quietly tried to control her mood also didn't help.  What did help, to her surprise, was Julian.  

Even just thinking about him caused her to smile.  She wasn't sure that she wanted to put a label on them yet, but she cared for Julian and knew he felt the same.  Their little coffee dates were becoming the highlights of her week.  They didn't meet up for lunch, or coffee after work, every day, but it was often enough for Cisco to start teasing her about it.  Barry didn't miss much, so Caitlin expected him to start in on her soon.  She welcomed the teasing, truly.  It was nice to know her friends cared.  It also cute how Julian's cheeks reddened from the attention, and how shyly he smiled at her through it.  Knowing she had Julian's support, and faith in her control, also helped her to maintain that control.  She never wanted to hurt him again, not like she had around Thanksgiving.

"Sorry I'm late.  Allen--sorry, Barry--took his time coming back from lunch, and one of us should at least make a show of working,"  Julian said as he hurried into her lab.  He walked up to her to kiss her cheek with that shy smile of his.

Caitlin returned the smile as she pushed away from the microscope.  "What a coincidence.  I have to call him in for 'tests' tomorrow.  It's been a while since he's had a complete physical."  Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

Julian laughed at that.  "Fancy that."  He held his elbow out to her.  "But enough about Barry.  Shall we?"

She gave his arm a squeeze as she slid her arm through his.  "We shall."

It was always hardest to resist when it was quiet.  That itch under her skin to let the ice flow free.  But Julian's affections warmed her enough that she could keep her powers under control.


End file.
